you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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