pop tarts are not kleenex
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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