it wasn't lemon gatorade
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
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