Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Is it penis luge time yet?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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