a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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