Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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