What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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