I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course. lets lasso hookers.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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