Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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