True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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