i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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