Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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