my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize