People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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