no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
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Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
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I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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