Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
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