My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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