Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Just pee around me
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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