Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
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i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize