I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize