how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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