he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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