i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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