I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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