I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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