dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I think I am morally bankrupt
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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