You just made me feel so damn special
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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