Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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