i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You are a genius and a whore.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize