Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
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I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
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Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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