Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
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The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
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Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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