Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
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I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
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We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
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