if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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