Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Ketchup is God's man juice
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize