The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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