Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize