yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
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I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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