just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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