dude i'm inner monologue high
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize