maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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