i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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