For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
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He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
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I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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