Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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