My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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