A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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