you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
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