Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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