Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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