She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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