Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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